I don’t live in New York, LA, Chicago, or even Dallas. I live in Everywhere Else, America, and my shopping choices are Target, GAP, JC Penney, Kohls, and the various other mall chains found out here in EE-Land. I supplement with vintage/second-hand stores and arts festivals, occasional online, when I hanker for more unique.
Honestly, I love the challenge of styling some ubiquitous piece picked up at a chain store and thinking about how to make it ME. Add a $10 coupon, boom, I’m there, forward-ho.
For some reason, JCP does its best circular-work in the SPRING, in other words Easter dresses. And I’ve always had a hunch the main JCP demographic is Hispanic because the color palette is exactly what would look gorgeous on a dusky skin tone. (I’m having flashbacks to high school now, remembering how jealous I was of my Mexican girlfriends and the way their frosty pink eyeshadow lit up their faces like goddesses.) Also, 80 percent of the models used in the circular are Latina. That must be a big clue, lol. (I spent a few lifetimes in the advertising world when I was younger, and an advertising tenet is depicting your target audience actually using your product in your ads. Ahh, subversive, suggestive, and sneaky, right?) It’s a very smart target demographic for JCP, with a totally legit need for Easter dresses.
Everything Blush in the online version of the circular: skirts, dresses, tops, handbags, shoes, and jewelry in a rose gold hue to further bring out its warm tones.
As a white-as-flour, so-very-white white girl, I have learned to RUN, not walk, away from that pale pink (blush) that has taken over the world this season, which washes me out even more. (Pink and nude lipsticks, too. Good God, don’t even.) I have accepted defeat and moved on.
We’re drowning in a sea of blush now because Pantone has decided this is one of the colors that clothing and home décor lines should present this season. Who knows how they decide these things. Another story, another day.
Here are the colors Pantone selected for Spring 2017. I guess Blush is a better marketing word than Pale Dogwood.
But perhaps that sassy pale blush skirt could be paired with my own strong black leather jacket, with the black closer to my face? I caught a memorable article a couple of years back in Lucky magazine, illustrating how to “toughen” up pastels with a bold black piece somewhere in the ensemble. Hmm. I can also see this skirt worn into summer with white Chuck Taylors and a black-and-white gingham check shirt. And opera-length black gloves. Just kidding about the last part. Maybe. This skirt needs to be checked out, though.
I wonder where the pink stuff is? (Right as you walk in the door.) I stopped at the makeup counter first to ask what lip color do people wear with the Blush clothing when pale pink and nude lipsticks wash out the face. Marvelous Mauve, No. 13, Sephora lip stain was applied.
Starting Point: thinking ahead, I wore “tougher” pieces to have on hand to try with the more girly things.
I’m pretending that I remembered to bring a pretty heel, haha. Does this have an ostrich vibe going on?
Now with the Harley-Davidson moto boot (old, scuffed, well-loved) worn to the store. I shaved my legs for this! – thank God.
What about a black-and-white top? Meh. I didn’t choose well because I needed to find a top that fit close to the body since the skirt is the opposite on bottom, to balance its fullness. Otherwise, you’d look like an amorphous floating cloud, which could be cool if that’s your thing. But most of us benefit from balance and definition.
With white? This is the exact moment I decide I want this thing off my body right now. Its sad little color was depressing me! I’ll leave it on the rack for some lovely, leggy girl. Note to self: don’t wear a turquoise bra the next time I do this.
One more Blush thing to show how abysmal this color is on me. And olive is great to pair with these coral-peachy-pink colors. All of this is just not my color wheel, though, haha. My lips are turning orange, btw.
Darn Distractions Follow
Oregano skinny ankle a.n.a. pants and black Worthington blouse: Ohmigod, I start to feel more like myself.
Black short-sleeve Worthington blouse: This is a little too Rizzo. I need some hot-pink hot-pants with it. I think I’m gonna get it, haha.
Can we take a quick second to acknowledge the awesome-ness of Betty Rizzo? “If you’re filled with affection, you’re too shy-iii to convey-aaa…” #spiritanimal
What about PINK jeans? This is called Pink Wash, not Blush, and has a cooler tone that works much better for me. These feel awesome – soo stretchy. It’s hilarious how much these pants on me do not look like they do on the model. (I once saw an article in which 12 women tried on the same garment. It’s shocking how different the same clothing can look on all our different bodies, and it’s the same “size.”)
Where all can we go with the cold-shoulder trend? And why is this Medium swallowing me?! Sizing is crazy at JCP! I just tried on a black lacy tee in a Small before this and could barely get it over my head. I tried on 8s, 10s, and 12s in pants. Ya’ know, if sizing was more standard, I wouldn’t have to waste so much time fooling with Every. Single. Piece. Ugh.
NOTE: I heard a stylist say during a presentation that white brightens the face, like an age-subtractor, for older women, and that black is too harsh, actually “ages” you, bringing out every wrinkle and horrifying detail. There may be something to that. I’m not ready to accede the point, though, and turn in my black. I love the Floating Head Syndrome that black turtlenecks give me.
My heart stopped when I saw these Bisou-Bisou gold-stamped leggings on the sales rack, $12. Oh, lord, I hate elastic waistbands (no support).
Hold the phone, Laverne, I’m trying these on!
(In case you don’t know or remember Laverne from Cher’s variety show in the 1970s. Her sense of humor has always been the sexiest thing about Cher. Get it, girrrrl!)
This is my Ohmigod-I-love-it smile. I’m getting these crazy pants. They’re trashy and loud and ill-fitting, and that’s the entire point. Heck, yes!!
I’ve also been told mimicking your hair color in your clothing creates a more harmonious look. And look at the play between the tortoise-shell eyeglasses and the gold and black pant. I think we have a winner. Btw, $2 with the $10 coupon, lol. Mind-boggling.
So there you have it. If I were an Easter egg, this is what I’d be… You know, I’m probably not gonna be helpful with you getting your Easter dress squared away. We need to get Shelley up in here for that. She’ll find you something nice you can actually wear to church or an egg hunt.
The Real-Real Behind the Scenes
Oh, God, I’m already tired of taking pictures of myself. Haha.
I’ma go find a bar now.
A Little Background Music
And here’s the music video that goes along with this post, for your additional enjoyment. I’m still smiling.